Everything You Need to Know About Save the Dates and Invites
Photography by Emily Turner
Knowing important information like when to order and send save the dates and invites is a question we get from all of our clients. That’s why we’ve created this easy guide with everything you need to know. Continue reading to get the inside scoop on when to send them, what the content should be, plus a whole lot more helpful information!
Save the Dates
As a destination wedding planner, I highly recommend our clients send save the dates. Save the dates are designed to notify your guests that you are engaged and to let them know to mark the wedding date in their calendar. This is especially important if travel and vacation time is required by the guests. That way, they have plenty of time to plan ahead and make travel plans prior to the full invite details being ready. The important thing to keep in mind is that you should only send save the dates to guests who are for sure invited. If you have an ‘A’ list, ‘B’ list, etc.. Only send the save the dates to your ‘A’ list. Once you send the Save the Date, that guest will expect a formal invitation to follow.
It is up to you how early you send your save the date, but 6-8 months is typical. The two things I encourage you to do prior to sending your save the dates are:
Photography by Schyne Photography
Choose your venue. If you set your wedding date prior to picking your venue, it can limit your choices. Just be sure you have your perfect venue booked before you tell everyone the date.
Create a wedding website. This may not be important for every wedding, but if you are planning a destination wedding, I highly recommend one. It is the best way to share important information about the venue location, travel and accommodation recommendations, your registry as well as any other important information you would like to share with your guests. Please keep in mind your wedding website should be a work in progress. It is impossible to have everything on the site before you send out the save the dates, but being able to share some basic information like travel and accommodation recommendations can really help your guests determine if attending your wedding is feasible for them. I always suggest encouraging guests to check back for more info later on the homepage or in your welcome message on the website. If you need some help getting your wedding website started, I highly recommend this read.
When it comes to the content of your Save the Dates, there are only a few things you need to include. First is your names...lol. Yup, this one is obvious. Second is the date. And finally the city or location. If you are doing a wedding website, you will also want to include that information somewhere on the bottom of the front or on the back. Save the Dates are meant to be fairly simple, so don’t worry about including too much information at this time.
When it comes to the look of the Save the Dates there are two popular routes. One is to use a photo of the two of you to create a postcard style save the date. This is a great way to introduce your fiance to friends or family who may not have met them in person yet. Another popular option is to choose a Save the Date design that matches the invites you plan to order. This route can be harder to achieve if you haven’t nailed down the design of your wedding yet, but something to consider.
Over the years I’ve seen all sorts of Save the Dates from our clients, but the most common ones are typically postcard style Save the Dates or e-vites. Here are two of our favorite resources for Save the Dates:
One interesting trend I’ve seen come about in the past few year is couples asking their guests to RSVP to the Save the Date. This is typically not something you would ask in a Save the Date, but if you are particularly concerned with the turn out for your wedding and how it may affect your budget, knowing this information early can be extremely beneficial. The other benefit of getting RSVPs at this stage is you can order only the exact number of invitations you need for the guests who have already stated they want to attend. With all the beautiful and sometimes pricey invitation suite options out there, this certainly helps save money.
Invites
Regardless of whether or not you plan to send Save the Dates, you will likely want to send an invitation of some sort. When you choose to send them is extremely important. If you don’t plan to send a Save the Date, then you will likely want to send them at least 6 months prior. However, if you’ve already sent a Save the Date, then I recommend waiting until 4 months prior. If you send them too early, you run the risk of guests RSVPing “YES” and then canceling closer to the wedding date due to unforeseen circumstances.
The one thing that many of our clients tend to get stuck on is how to word their invitations. There are many ways to word them, but with some general guidelines, you can easily tailor your invites without missing anything important. The most important thing is that you include all of the information that your guests need. From there it is just a matter of determining how formal or informal you want them to be.
Who’s hosting
Typically the first thing you would include is who is hosting. Traditionally the bride’s parents would foot the bill so their names would be listed first. Now it is much more common for the couple to pay for all or part of the wedding along with both families. Here are some examples of how to word this part:
Photography by Stephen Ludwig
Together with their families
Mr and Mrs (bride’s family)
Invite you to the wedding of their daughter
Mr and Mrs (bride’s family)
And Mr and Mrs (groom’s family)
Invite you to the wedding of their children
Mr and Mrs (bride’s family)
And Mr and Mrs (bride’s family if parents are divorced)
And Mr and Mrs (groom’s family)
Invite you to the wedding of their children
Request
Next up is the request line. This is an opportunity to let your personality shine through a bit and/or show how formal or informal the event is. Here are some examples.
“The pleasure of your company”
“At the marriage of their children”
“Would love for you to join them”
“Invite you to celebrate with them”
“Request the honor of your presence”
After that is when you list the couple’s names. You can choose to list just first names, first and last names or go the traditional route of listing the bride’s first and middle name and the groom’s full name. Traditionally you would also list the bride’s name first.
Date and Time
Next you want to include the date and time. There are many ways to do this. The traditional way would be to spell out all numbers. With that being said the overall design and layout tends to be more important these days so numbers are often used instead.
Location
If you are getting married at an easy to find location like “The Four Seasons Ko’Olina” for example, then simply listing the location name is fine. If you’ve chosen a venue like a private residence or one that may be hard to find, then you will want to list the address.
Reception Information
Photography by Jenny Quicksall Photography
Since all of the above information is to direct guests to your ceremony, it is important to also include information about the reception. If the reception is at the same venue as the ceremony you may choose to say one of the following:
Cocktails, dinner and dancing to follow
Reception to follow
If your reception is to be held at another venue or a later time, be sure to list that information instead.
Dress Code
Traditionally you would list the dress code on the lower right hand of the invitation. Some common request are:
Formal - if you would like guests to wear long dresses and tuxes.
Cocktail Attire - if cocktail dresses and suits are appropriate.
Aloha Attire - if you would like the guys to wear aloha shirts and the ladies sun dresses.
More common these days is to set the tone of the event with the style of your invite instead of specifically listing the dress code. If the invitation is very formal and fancy guests will get the gist that it is a formal event.
RSVP
There are two main ways that you can request your guests to RSVP. The most common one is to include a separate RSVP card for the guests to fill out and mail back to you. The other option is to request that your guests RSVP via your wedding website. If you choose the latter, make sure to include the wedding website URL on the invitation or on a separate card. If you have a mixed guest list of older folks and your peers, you may choose to do a mix.
One of the most important things to consider is the RSVP date. Since your guest count affects so many parts of your wedding (catering, bar, rentals, seating chart, flowers, transportation), we highly recommend setting the due date 6-8 weeks before your wedding date. Not only will it give you ample time to make the needed adjustments with your vendors, but it will also give you several weeks to follow up with the inevitable RSVP stragglers.
Over the years I’ve seen all sorts of beautiful invitations. Here are some links to my favorites:
If you have a favorite invitation company, we would love for you to share their info in the comments below!